Land of the giant spider

I leave Perth behind and fly to central Australia, starting in Uluru-Kata Tjuta National Park.  First stop is the hotel, one of several lodgings catering to every visitor level from luxury to camping.  I do not choose camping. 

That does not protect me from insects and spiders.  I am not a fan of insects and spiders.  How ironic that I am in a place where the hotel puts a cute little card in each room saying, ”Our accommodations are so lovely, even the insects insist on trying them.”  Oh, yay.

On a later trip to AU, I stay with my friend Kate just outside of Melbourne.  She leaves to take her children to school, and I drag myself to a wake-up shower.  I slide the glass shower door shut, sleepily turn on the water  …  and then I see it.  A spider  the  size  of  my  hand, climbing the outside of the shower stall.  

I was trapped!   

Dripping wet,  in a shower stall,  held hostage by a huge spider.   

This is the stuff of my nightmares.

I banged on the door to try to move him up...then I decide I don’t want him over my head.  

I try move him down.  Then I decide I don’t want him on the floor, either.  

I didn’t know where I wanted him. And he didn’t care.   He made his way to the ceiling. 

I break out of the stall, grab the bath towel and begin swinging it wildly, cursing, dripping, borderline hysterical (ok, maybe not borderline....maybe just hysterical).   All I can do is try to herd him out of the bathroom.  I was on the verge of running naked and wet down the stairs and into the street. 

Spidey doesn’t like me any more than I like him.  He flees to the children’s bathroom as I dash to my room, grab clothes, and pull them on as I run down the stairs.  I reach the bottom just as Kate returns.  I begin babbling.

“Giant spider, shower,  giant spider,  shower,  kill it,  kill it,  kill it!!!”

We both go upstairs; I’m cowering behind her.  She spots the spider in the corner, and, with her there to protect me, I risk staying in the room long enough to take a picture.  

Kate says  “Oh it’s just a medium sized Huntsman...   …. ”

I don’t hear the rest.  All I can think is  ‘That’s a *medium* Huntsman spider?’

I do not ever,  ever,  ever  want to see a large one.